Melancholy & Missing Lighters

  Last night, alone with a wise elder, I said,  Please. Do not hold back from telling me any secrets about this universe. Leaning near, he spoke into my ear, Some things cannot be told or understood, only seen and lived wisdom. Coleman Bark's Commentary: Bawa used to talk about the taste of what he knew. In the Preface to Book II of the Masnavi Rumi quotes the Arab saying, He who does not taste, does not know. Mevlana Rumi (1207 - 1273) Translated by Coleman Barks Cousineau, Phil (editor).  Burning the Midnight Oil: Illuminating Words for the Long Night's Journey into Day. Pg. 150. Viva Editions, 2013.

 I hope you are safe and as well as you can be. I find myself thinking of you every now and then, and I worry. I haven't heard from you, and I'm sure you have your reasons, but I worry, nonetheless. So long as you're alive, I can be content. I know how difficult it is to talk, even just a "hello". How heavy it feels beneath the expectations everyone seems to place on you. I've seen how you struggle, even when you put on a smile. It hurts to watch you, as I sit virtually powerless within my own limbo. You have your coping mechanisms, at least. I am grateful that they've kept you alive, even when they bring you closer to death. But that's our reality: indulging the taste of death as we struggle to live. I could never expect you to give that up, especially considering that I am not much better. I understand the futility of looking beyond and finding nothing. Yet the whole world seems to think it's as easy as just going to a shelter, or a psych ward, ...