About
About the Blog:
Hullo~ and welcome to the Melancholy and Missing Lighters blog. This is where I keep my poetry, stories, musings, and whatever else strikes my fancy.
My activeness on here is wholly circumstantial, however, I do try to maintain two scheduled postings:
- Full Moon Poetry - Each full moon from spring to winter (I mostly go into hibernation during the winter) I post either an original poem written by myself, or another writer's poem that resonates with me.
- Halloween Countdown - Every October I celebrate the arrival of autumn and the approach of Halloween by posting October-themed poems or stories.
This blog is yet another attempt to leave behind a piece of myself. So that my thoughts can continue to exist even after I am gone. I struggle to connect with people in my life, but maybe in my death, another who is like me can find connection in my remnants.
Thank you for stopping by, I hope you can find the same comfort in my works that they bring me~☆
About Me:
☀️
Hullo~ I am called Eva-Assunta Esposito. It is not my real name, but it is one of importance to me. "Eva-Assunta" is a combination of a given name of mine, as well as a name belonging to one of my great grandmothers. "Esposito" was the surname given to my six times great grandmother who was an adoptee.
I was born and raised in South Florida in a more American than Italian family (my maternal side originally comes from Santa Lucia, Cava de'Tirreni, Salerno; but we've been on Turtle Island for about five generations now).
At present, I no longer live in Florida. I'd started traveling on and off back in 2018. Then in 2020, I finally just remained on the road (I visit family during the winter, of course). I travel on foot, carrying mostly everything I own in a pack. It's not a life for everyone. For me, however, it keeps me a lot closer to nature, and it's the best method I can think of for myself considering my situation and issues with my mental health, to live as true to myself as possible and also reject hyper-consumerism and being forced to follow rules in a rigged game (though, of course, I am still very much affected by said game).
On my maternal side, I do come from a family that is no stranger to psychic abilities and the unusual. But, I cannot boast us as having any particularly strong abilities. Only myself and maybe one of my cousins actively hone our inherited abilities and work with spirits. But even then I'm nothing close to being a medium, priestess, shaman, what have you. I consider myself a Janara or witch, which to me is simply an individual who chooses to see, embrace, and even work with the magic/energy/spirits all around us.
Initially, I'd wanted to dedicate myself to reconnecting with my Italian roots and spirituality. But, my spirits seem to be urging me to not dwell on any specific past. So, while I've been guided here and there by various deities (largely the ancient Greco-Roman pantheon), they always made it clear that they were there to temporarily teach me something, but that our relationship was not intended to go any deeper. It's hard for me explain the spirits or gods whom I have developed more of a relationship with. However, I think other people can understand the feelings. They're gods that you feel trembling in the fibers of your bones. Not entirely your most recent ancestors, nor our paleo ancestors, nor tiktaalik, not even particularly all of life's shared ancestors. But the essence of the stars shivering in the sky. The essence which prickles through our skin, quivers beneath the soil, and crackles along the bark of towering trees.
You know? They're like the essence of existence, the keepers of stories, they are everything and nothing all at once. They have no spoken name to me, at least not one that resonates with me. They have such a primal feeling, that I'm sure every culture across the millennia has named them. Maybe I'm expressing what many perceive as Yaweh or Allah. Maybe different gods are different aspects. Or maybe I'm describing someone completely different. I'm really not that good at what I do.
But I don't care much to name them. It feels uncomfortable to try tethering them. But I work with them every now and then and do my best to honor them through both offerings and actions that I take to better take care of myself, my relationships, other people, and the environment. But overall, I work with the deity that is myself and those around me.
🌙
Hullo~ I am called Eva-Assunta Esposito. It is not my real name, but it is one of importance to me. "Eva-Assunta" is a combination of a given name of mine, as well as a name belonging to one of my great grandmothers. "Esposito" was the surname given to my six times great grandmother who was an adoptee.
I was born and raised in South Florida in a more American than Italian family (my maternal side originally comes from Santa Lucia, Cava de'Tirreni, Salerno; but we've been on Turtle Island for about five generations now).
At present, I no longer live in Florida. I'd started traveling on and off back in 2018. Then in 2020, I finally just remained on the road (I visit family during the winter, of course). I travel on foot, carrying mostly everything I own in a pack. It's not a life for everyone. For me, however, it keeps me a lot closer to nature, and it's the best method I can think of for myself considering my situation and issues with my mental health, to live as true to myself as possible and also reject hyper-consumerism and being forced to follow rules in a rigged game (though, of course, I am still very much affected by said game).
On my maternal side, I do come from a family that is no stranger to psychic abilities and the unusual. But, I cannot boast us as having any particularly strong abilities. Only myself and maybe one of my cousins actively hone our inherited abilities and work with spirits. But even then I'm nothing close to being a medium, priestess, shaman, what have you. I consider myself a Janara or witch, which to me is simply an individual who chooses to see, embrace, and even work with the magic/energy/spirits all around us.
Initially, I'd wanted to dedicate myself to reconnecting with my Italian roots and spirituality. But, my spirits seem to be urging me to not dwell on any specific past. So, while I've been guided here and there by various deities (largely the ancient Greco-Roman pantheon), they always made it clear that they were there to temporarily teach me something, but that our relationship was not intended to go any deeper. It's hard for me explain the spirits or gods whom I have developed more of a relationship with. However, I think other people can understand the feelings. They're gods that you feel trembling in the fibers of your bones. Not entirely your most recent ancestors, nor our paleo ancestors, nor tiktaalik, not even particularly all of life's shared ancestors. But the essence of the stars shivering in the sky. The essence which prickles through our skin, quivers beneath the soil, and crackles along the bark of towering trees.
You know? They're like the essence of existence, the keepers of stories, they are everything and nothing all at once. They have no spoken name to me, at least not one that resonates with me. They have such a primal feeling, that I'm sure every culture across the millennia has named them. Maybe I'm expressing what many perceive as Yaweh or Allah. Maybe different gods are different aspects. Or maybe I'm describing someone completely different. I'm really not that good at what I do.
But I don't care much to name them. It feels uncomfortable to try tethering them. But I work with them every now and then and do my best to honor them through both offerings and actions that I take to better take care of myself, my relationships, other people, and the environment. But overall, I work with the deity that is myself and those around me.
🌙
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