Dancing Despite it All // Tarantella Napoletana & Update

 I once again am late to posting about another video upload. Now, one may ask themselves, why would she post about video on a blog that nobody reads? Or how did I end up on the ancient side of the internet? Or even, where do squirrels go during hurricanes?

I can only answer the first question. I simply like to maintain something of an archival on my blog of my works. This includes, of course, my videos. Really though, I should probably keep the videos themselves on here as well. I think that's what I'll do, yes, just in case they're taken down from YouTube for some reason or another. They're by no means exemplary demonstrations of the art of dance, but I'm pretty proud of myself for actually making videos of something I love. It's taken me years to work up the nerve to even attempt to record myself dancing.

In other news, living day-by-day is still rough. I'm still working with little to no desire to continue living. Dancing and singing gives me something to cling to, filling me with a warmth, a power, an urge to occupy this world. But in moments of stillness and silence, I feel the absence of the feline who I had once held. It is in those moments when I question the purpose in forcing myself to continue on. For failing to protect someone so full of life and love, I should die.

The trees no longer scare me. Yet, there not as comforting as they'd once been. I ignore them. I say they don't speak to me anymore. But truthfully, I ignore them. I can feel them at times, brushing against my mind and tugging at my skin. Sometimes, I cannot help but lean into them. I miss them, as I miss her. I thought they hadn't woken me that morning, but I wonder if I had woken earlier that morning. It's hard to remember. Maybe I'm remembering wrong, of stirring awake in my sleeping bag earlier that morning before turning over and falling back asleep. What if I was? What if I had instead sat up and checked on her? But I can't go back. I can't fix it. I ruined her future, as well as mine. I would rather join her.

But here I am instead. With this aging body. At least my shoulder isn't hurting anymore, I suppose. I mentioned it in the description for this dance video. The pulled or sprained or torn muscle. I don't know what it is. I still wake up sore in that spot in the morning. But it's becoming more faint. Which is great, especially since I'll have to climb a ladder with sixty pounds on my back soon. Due to the nice weather out here in the northeast, we're somewhat taking our time. We don't linger as long anymore. Brutter was the whole reason we really took it easy. It had brought us immeasurable joy to see her at ease in whatever patch of woods we would set up in.

We're taking our time going south due to the hurricane (which, luckily, our families and friends in Florida are holding up well). However, we simply want to get to Alabama to start working as soon as possible. Get new gear, and maybe find a reason to live.

Anyhow, here's the description and the video:

Hullo~

At present, I'm still healing up a bit from a sprained muscle in the crook of my neck, but I've been itching to dance again. I've mostly been resting the past four days, so I've fallen a little behind in my stretching and dancing.
So, I did some light stretching and danced my own improvised dance to the Tarantella Napoletana for about three minutes to get back into the flow.

Since our camp spot is real open and level, I decided to also record my practicing. It sucked for the most part. I was blanking, flailing, and not real focused. You can see me looking off behind the camera multiple times. My facial expressions are just all over the place. I feel like a real mess today, haha.
But I didn't think the last bit was too awful, so, I figured I'd share that. Besides, I'm not an entertainer. I'm just a person who enjoys dancing, and I like sharing my love of dancing.

Song: Tarantella Napoletana
From: Gli Italiani di Ieri